The Confrontation
by FireflyFanatic3x
Summary: As Gwen and Morgana's fight turns into an emotional admittance of feelings, both say and hear things they never dared to face up to, and now they must face the truth...  See it as you please - femslash or just friendship, I kept it open.


**This could be seen as a replacement for the confrontation scene in 4x13, or could be after the season finale, it's not set in any particular time.**

**Just thinking about these two makes my heart break … they were **_**best friends**_**. Watching any s1 or s2 episodes these to really break my heart! They were there for each other, no matter what … so what happened?**

"I loved you Morgana!" Gwen said, as tears began to well up rather unexpectedly in her eyes. She hadn't known it would hurt this much. "You were my best friend ... you were like a sister to me!"

Morgana stopped, the pain now showing on her face as she stared back into the eyes of her old friend. When did she become her enemy? How had she turned from being the one person she could trust more than any other, to the woman she wished dead? She lowered her hand as her eyebrows furrowed, unable to do anything, completely paralysed by all the repressed emotions now washing over her, all her walls, all her defences, completely destroyed by Gwen's piercing gaze.

"You were everything to me!" Gwen said, her voice breaking as a tear rolled down her cheek and she blinked slowly. She swallowed hard and took a breath, looking up, "What happened?" 

"I don't know ..." Morgana whispered, almost inaudibly. Tears began to well up in her eyes, but, very aware of them, and determined not to let her see how torn she was, Morgana blinked them away and cleared her throat, taking a small step toward Gwen. "Nothing. Nothing happened, Gwen. It's not what you've done, it's who you are, who you will become. All I wanted was what's rightfully mine! Uther lied to me; he kept the truth from me my entire life! He denied me my birthright. I am the older sibling, the throne should be mine!" 

"Is that really all you care about?" Gwen asked, both hurt and quite shocked. There was frustration and disappointment in her voice, and Morgana saw it in her expression – amidst all the pain, she was angry and disappointed.

"I have the seers power." She said, desperately trying to justify herself, "And for months dreams troubled me, I'd wake up each night, terrified of what the future may hold. I dreamed of you, Gwen." Her voice began to crack as the pain showed and she could no longer fight the tears which were welling up. "Night after night, I saw you, sitting on my throne, Queen of Camelot!"

"And that's what troubled you? That's why you so desperately want me dead?" Gwen asked, raising her voice now, though, for all the anger which was building up inside in light of this new revelation, there was still deep hurt behind those words. "I don't want to be Queen of Camelot! Not if it means losing you! I never wanted to be Queen of the Kingdom; I only wanted to be Arthur's queen. To marry the man I love … Do you want the throne so desperately that you would kill your best friend, someone who was loyal to you always, and never wavered for a moment, because I may become Queen?"

There were several things which Morgana wanted to say, wanted to cry out and shout back at Gwen to defend herself, but as she opened her mouth, she found she could say nothing. After some moments of silence between them, Morgana looked up at Gwen, both of their faces now stained with tears, "I'm sorry, Gwen. But you married Arthur, you will be Queen of Camelot, and that shouldn't be! …Your loyalties are to Arthur." 

"Loyalties?" she said, defiantly. It came out as a whisper, quiet and defensive. "And where were my loyalties before you left, Morgana?" Gwen shouted, almost a cry as another tear ran down her cheek and she stared at Morgana, "I was there, every night you had a nightmare and woke up screaming! I was there, every time you got sick, going insane with worry for you! I was there, I came back, I served you, cared for you, loved you even when you shouted at me to get out, when you made me unwelcome! When you were scared of what Uther might do to you because you feared you had magic, I was there. It broke my heart to see you suffer so much, but I stayed! I always stayed, I always came back, to make sure you were okay, to care for you! Do you think I did all that because it's my job? I did it all ..." Gwen stopped, breaking off as she coughed, choking on her tears which now rolled freely down her face. "Everything I ever did, Morgana, everything ... it was all for you." 

Morgana stopped, tears rolling down her cheeks as her lips began to tremble. She looked down for a moment, with no defence to mount, no words, nothing she could possibly say in return to that. So once again there was a moment of silence between them and she simply stared at the ground, unable to look her in the eye. Was this what it came to in the end? Her regime, her grand plan? Is this all it amounted to - giving up her closest friend, betraying someone she'd considered to be family, all for blood? Morgause had dangled their shared heritage in front of her, and instantly she'd been swayed.

Consumed with fear, anger and hate, she let herself fall, let herself get angry until, after she'd lost everything she had, pushed away all those who loved her, and as a consequence lost the only friend, the only family she had left, she was completely consumed with bitterness. 

"What did I do to make you hate me so much?" Gwen asked, her voice cracking as more tears welled up and the pain of this confrontation dug deeper, tearing them both apart inside. 

"I'm sorry Gwen ... I ... I am sorry." she said, her voice quiet and soft. She had no strength to shout, to argue, to even speak properly. She only looked up, finally looking Gwen in the eye. Her soft brown eyes were filled with tears, and Morgana could see all the hurt, all the pain which lay behind them. The more she looked, the less she liked what she saw. Was she really the cause of all this hurt? 

"I have no place here, Gwen." she said after a long and awkward pause between them, "Arthur has made it clear how he feels about magic and my kind! I have no place in this Kingdom anymore. I once had everything, and now ... now I have nothing. I have to take it back …" 

"You still have you friends!" Gwen said, stepping forwards, pleading with her, "Arthur may be confused about what he feels toward magic, but there was never any doubt about how he felt about you, Morgana. You were like a sister to him, his whole life! He was devastated and shocked when you … He wouldn't talk to anyone for days! He only ever loved you, he's your brother!" Gwen looked down, pausing for a moment, then she glanced up, looking Morgana in the eye, "You say family is so important to you, and that's why you left with Morgause, but … but your family is right here, Morgana! You may have been abused and scared, but you were never alone! I was here, I was always here. Your brother always loved you! You've always had all the family you need, right here!" 

"Gwen, I …" but Morgana couldn't finish the sentence. She wasn't even entirely sure what she was going to say. But she couldn't bring herself to even say her name. She was hurting inside, and the pain was showing on her face. 

As they stood there, both unable to say anything, a deep and painful silence fell between them. But no more words were necessary. They had said all they could. What more was there that could come between them? They both stood, facing each other, swords on the ground, and their cheeks stained with tears. For what could have been an eternity, they simply stood, staring into each other's eyes, walking into each other's worlds. And for all the pain, for all that stood between them, that moment was bliss. After they had said all they could, exhausted all arguments and every word they'd spoken washed away with the tears and emotion which was flooding in, they stood, alone and yet together. They were enemies, but would always be friends, they were family. And you can't choose your family, it chooses you. There is no running, no hiding from it. It is who you really are. They were family, and yet they had to be enemies. But none of that mattered now. There were no walls between them, no distance to separate them, and no politics to get in the way of the wave of emotions which hit them. And to stand in that moment, where their feelings could not even be quantified into coherent thoughts, was the most beautiful thing they could have done.

Was this it – the crossroads? The place where they would make their stand, choose their side? Was there really a side? Could it ever have been that simple? Were they really such things as good and evil in this story, this complicated and intensely painful situation which was their lives? No, there were no heroes, no villains, there was no quest. Just the joy, the smiles, the pain and the blood, and the decisions they'd made, both good and bad, all of which had led them to this moment, right here. 

Could she go back? Would they take her in? Even if they had it in their hearts to forgive her, Morgana had to search hard for the answer to a question which tugged at her soul – did she want forgiving? She had driven herself, thrived off this hate, this bitterness and it had completely consumed her … could she change all that? Would she even want to? 

At last, after some measure of time had passed, Gwen finally spoke. "I'm sorry, Morgana. I am so sorry for everything you've been through. If I ever caused you hurt … you know it was not intended." she paused, clearing her throat as she struggled to get the words out, "You know I love you. I always did, and I always will. You are everything to me … Come back." 

"I … I can't." was all Morgana could manage, once again a whisper, almost silent as she closed her eyes and more tears fell. "Everything we had … everything I was, is lost." 

"I don't believe that … you are who you choose to be! And I believe in you. I know you're hurting, and I want to help! I'm ready to forgive you, I always will be!" 

"I know … I know, Gwen." Morgana took a step forward, gazing down into Gwen's beautiful, soft brown eyes. "But I can't change who I am, any more than I can change what I've done." 

Gwen looked up at her, staring back into her eyes once again. As more tears welled up and escaped, sliding slowly down her cheek, Morgana reached out her hand and gently touched her cheek, wiping the tears away with her thumb. Then, without warning or need of invitation, both of them embraced each other, passionately and in tears. Gwen wrapped her arms around Morgana's neck and rested her head on her shoulder as Morgana gripped her friend tight. All was forgotten. All was forgiven, in this intense and emotion-filled moment between the two women. 

Then they pulled apart, taking a small step back from each other, and Morgana used her hands to wipe away the tears still on her own face. 

Suddenly the noise of sword against sword resounded, coming from behind them in the corridor somewhere, and they both turned to look in the direction of the commotion. 

"You should go, my lady." Gwen said as Morgana turned back to look at her.  
>Morgana gave the slightest of nods, the pain and love she felt, painted on her face as she looked back, looking straight into Gwen's gaze, one last time, letting the moment stretch out as long as she dared. Then she turned and walked away, another tear falling onto her dried cheek as she tore herself away from the scene. And Gwen too – as she watched her friend leave, more tears spilled over and she blinked slowly, closing her eyes for a moment, letting the emotions of what had just happened wash over her. Opening her eyes, staring down the lonely and empty passageway, she took a deep breath and pulled her shoulders back, standing up straight, holding herself high. She was Queen now. She had to be strong …<p> 


End file.
